


Reflections Of Hathor

by justhuman



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Challenge Response, Community: jd_ficathon, Episode Tag, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-07-14
Updated: 2008-07-14
Packaged: 2017-10-02 16:51:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justhuman/pseuds/justhuman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A missing scene and the aftermath of Hathor. There are mentions of canon relationships.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reflections Of Hathor

Daniel began lifting his hand to his face and then stopped. He'd already tried to straighten his glasses at least four times, maybe forty. The fact was they were where they belonged - the world was what was hazy.

He needed to find her, be near his goddess. There were so many questions that required explanations, not the least of which was how he had come to love her so quickly. While Daniel couldn't be certain how long he'd been like this, he had a certain sense that the world had been a different place a day ago. There had been a different woman that he had been seeking; there were different people whom he had looked to for clarity.

Now there was only Hathor.

Sam. Daniel smacked his forehead. He should have asked Sam where Hathor was when she had came to Hathor's room. But no, Sam hadn't known. Of course, even if he had thought of it, Daniel knew he wouldn't have been able to find his voice to ask her. He'd been so overwhelmed to have been touched by Hathor in such an intimate way. Short of laying down his life for his goddess, there was no way that he could have served her more.

A wave of panic swept through him. Was she gone? Had she gone to the surface to reestablish her throne? No less was her due - but no. He was Hathor's chosen one; she would have taken him with her. Daniel knew that she would be here on the base, near the Stargate. He would find her.

As he turned the corner into the locker room, Daniel heard the not uncommon sound of the whirlpool's jets. More importantly, he caught something faint in the air - Hathor's scent. He rounded the corner, spirits lifting, but she wasn't there.

Jack. That was Jack lying on the floor. He didn't seem comfortable, but who would be, lying on the cold tile?

"Jack? Are you awake? Have you seen Hathor? I need to find her."

A groan was his only answer as Jack lifted his head, squinting at Daniel. He let it fall back down again, too hard. Jack shouldn't bang his head like that, Daniel thought. He found himself on his knees, lifting Jack so that he was half in Daniel's lap, his head against Daniel's chest.

This seemed right in a sea of wrong. Daniel wished that Hathor were there to explain it.

"Daniel?"

"Jack."

"What did she..." Jack's voice trailed off as his hands clumsily moved, touching himself, touching Daniel's arms and knees.

"Did she take the code of life from you, too?" At once Daniel felt a confusing wave of pride and jealousy. He was her beloved, her chosen; she had told him. But it wasn't right to be jealous of his friend, his best friend. "It's okay; it doesn't overwhelm you for long. I'm glad, glad that she's forgiven you."

"Code? There was no code, or maybe there was, I don't know. Hathor, she, she touched me." Jack scrubbed his hands across his face and tugged on his shirt, exposing his belly which was slit into an X.

Relief washed over Daniel; he was still Hathor's beloved, but she had found a different way to reward, to gift - no, what was the word, to _bless_ Jack. But Jack didn't seem to be feeling very well, no doubt he was overcome by her attentions. "I should find Hathor so she can make you well."

Daniel didn't try to lay Jack down or to get up himself. Instead, a new sharpness came into his vision as he studied his friend. Just like handling an artifact, he didn't think when his fingers moved, tracing the triangular edges of soft skin, the flaps of what now must be Jack's symbiote pouch. They moved with Jack's breath, reacted to the touch of Daniel's fingers. Jack was now more a brother to Teal'c, which somehow filled Daniel with relief and longing all at once.

Jack shifted, throwing back his head, and pressing it into Daniel's shoulder, the column of his throat elongating as he held his breath. Daniel couldn't help but run his thumb along the pulse line, needing to touch. "You're beautiful, Jack."

"Daniel." It was only one word, his name. Whatever shortcomings Jack had in actually using the extensive vocabulary that Daniel knew he had, Jack made up for in other ways. Kinesthetics - the look in his eyes, the tone and inflection in his voice, and the feel of his fingers against Daniel's thigh.

How bizarre with the feel of Jack in his arms and Hathor in his mind that Daniel suddenly thought of a beautiful dark haired woman. He had ached for this woman only hours before. Hathor, Jack and...Sha're suddenly all owned a piece of him, and Daniel was at a loss to tell right from wrong. Except for Jack, because Jack was very real in his arms. Daniel knew viscerally that they were the kind of friends that would throw themselves into the line of fire for each other; they both had done it. What he hadn't realized was that they were also the kind of friends who could touch one another without reproach.

It didn't feel like betrayal in his mind to be touching Jack. The women warred with each other. Daniel knew who should have been winning, but something in his head wasn't right, wasn't connecting.

"Daniel, we need to stop her. We can't let Hathor do this to us," Jack said.

Daniel winced at the shockwave of pain that raced through his head. "Let her do what? This feels right." Daniel allowed his arms and fingers to tighten around his friend.

"_We're_ good. But we can't let her take over; can't let her make us her slaves." Jack's words were ringing in Daniel's head. He was right, but somehow Daniel couldn't quite shake the urge to reject what he was saying. Instead he focused on something he understood perfectly - what Jack's fingers were saying as they traced lines and circles on Daniel's thigh.

"But what greater pleasure can you have than to serve your goddess?" Hathor asked as she slid down beside them. Daniel was surprised - how could he have been so distracted not to notice her arrival? Jack stiffened up, but seemed too weak to really fight. It was up to Daniel, he knew it, but was having trouble focusing on how.

The scent of her filled him and Daniel was overtaken by peace and oblivion. Jack relaxed in his arms, and as much as Daniel wanted to take care of him, he needed to let go. He was the beloved of a goddess and she wanted him.

***

Daniel scrubbed his face with the towel again, hoping the rough fibers could wipe the Novocain out of his brain.

"Hey, how are you doing?" Jack was standing beside him, dripping from the shower. One standard issue towel was wrapped around his hips and another was around his neck lightly clasped with both hands. Jack had long, elegant fingers that somehow moved with grace whether he was firing an automatic weapon or folding paper airplanes.

When Daniel caught himself staring at Jack's fingers, he shoved his own through his damp hair and ducked his head. "I'm not sure. I'm mostly thinking straight, but I'm having a hard time owning up to what happened today." Belatedly, he remembered what had happened to Jack. Without thinking too much about it, his head shot back up and his fingers reached out to touch Jack's abdomen. "How are you?"

Looking up, Daniel watched Jack's eyes track from Daniel's fingers where they touched Jack's bare belly, up Daniel's arm, finally locking gazes. Daniel expected a raised eyebrow or maybe even an angry punch. There were certain behaviors that were right out in a men's locker room, especially a military one, no matter how innocently intended.

Jack didn't move, not until the sound of a shower coming on in the next room broke the silence. With a shrug, he took a step back and then moved to his locker. "I'm okay, actually. Teal'c filled me on what Hathor did to me; I'm kinda hazy on the whole thing."

To anyone else, Jack looked completely normal, stowing his gear, putting on deodorant, pulling the shirt over his head. But to Daniel something was different. Jack liked to look at you unless he was uncomfortable or off balance, and right now he was talking into his locker.

"Fraser said the sarcophagus thing put me back to normal. Apparently it decided that I was human enough and put me back to being me." Jack finally turned back towards Daniel. "I know what you mean, though. I've got kind of a headache from whatever she was using to drug us. I can't wait to get out of here."

This time it was Daniel who looked away, grabbing the bench with both his hands and gently rocking. "Yeah, anywhere but here sounds like a good idea." The fact that Jack was having trouble remembering being sliced and diced into a Jaffa was probably good news for Daniel - much less of a chance that Jack remembered the two of them on the tile floor.

"Steaks. We should grab some. And maybe a six pack," Jack said.

With a jerk of his head, Daniel was looking Jack in the eye. Jack must have thought that blank look was a good poker face, but Daniel always knew he was holding something back. Of course, Daniel had no idea what, whether it was concern for him or possibly anger at him. It was probably a better idea if he just went home and slept it off.

Chewing his lower lip a moment, Daniel finally said, "Good idea."

***

Daniel caught himself staring at his steak again. Deliberately he cut off a piece and put it in his mouth, hoping his instinct to chew was a bit more focused than the rest of him. He was sitting next to Jack at the counter in Jack's kitchen.

The ride over had been much less tense than he'd thought it would be. After his grand announcement to the team that it was his DNA mixed with Hathor's, he'd been dreading Jack's response. Of course it wasn't like Jack hadn't responded in the locker room with Sam and Dr. Fraser. It was something between a shocked 'oh!' or possibly an 'ewww!' both of which were appropriate.

They'd had company on the trip up the elevator, no talking there. Once they climbed into Jack's truck, there had been a brief discussion about whether fries were too greasy for someone recovering from having a symbiote pouch installed and removed. Well, Jack had discussed it at length, comparing it to other combat wounds. Finally Daniel had just piped up that it was a night for comfort food. Jack nodded and said, baked potatoes it was. Daniel had called in the order as they drove.

There had been a quick stop at a package store, where Jack hopped out before Daniel could even offer him any cash. Another short drive and it was Daniel turn to pick up their food. They had told him they'd need another five or ten minutes. Daniel used the time to have some ginger ale at the bar instead of going back outside to face the silence with Jack. When he did make it out, he'd been met with a raised eyebrow. Shrugging, he lied. _First they said two minutes and then they came back and said a few more._

"You haven't touched your potato," Jack said, nudging Daniel's arm with his elbow.

"Yeah," Daniel said, frowning at it. "You want it?"

Shrugging, Jack took a swig of beer. "You want to talk about what she did to you?"

"You mean the drug induced rape?" Daniel was surprised at the anger in his own voice for a moment. The outburst brought a sudden clarity to his thoughts, the events of the day, his behavior, and his feelings. Daniel reached for Jack's beer, finishing the half-empty bottle.

Jack wasn't saying anything with his mouth, but Daniel could see that he was trying to access how nuts Daniel was. Putting down Jack's bottle, Daniel moved his own full one in front of the other man. "Downing a whole bottle just seemed like a bad idea."

Nodding, Jack picked up the beer. "With your tolerance, yeah."

Talk, not talk, it was apparently up to him. With his fork, Daniel pushed around a steamed carrot. "You know, intellectually, I know that rape is the right word, but it didn't feel that way, at least physically. She made me want it, and even though I'll be nursing nail marks on my back for a couple of days, she didn't hurt me." Daniel dropped his fork.

"Mad at yourself because none of us were cautious enough? Or is it the part where she had control over you, made you work against the rest of us, because I'd just like to remind you that you weren't alone in all that."

Daniel looked up. He was expecting to see the face Jack used to counsel junior officers. It wasn't one that anyone ever saw much, because Jack preferred tough love to gentle authority, but Daniel was a keen observer of men. Instead he saw something else, concern, to be sure, but it was the concern of a friend for a friend.

"Well, there's definitely some of that in there. But it wasn't so much what she made me do as much as it was what she made me forget." Stabbing the carrot with his fork, Daniel put it in his mouth.

"You _never_ stopped loving your wife."

Daniel was pissed;not at Jack, but Jack was convenient. "You don't think I know that?"

"I don't know, you seem really upset for a guy that really believes it."

He wanted to throw something, to hit someone, and he couldn't stand the level of anger and violence he was feeling. Tossing his glasses to the counter, Daniel propped his head in both his hands.

"What did it feel like?" Jack asked.

"I don't want to talk about."

"Neither do I, but it's going to tear you apart until you do. And might I suggest, better me than whichever psychologist is no doubt being flown in to meet with the entire staff?"

That was the voice. Turning his head, Daniel saw the stiffness in Jack's posture, the unfeeling, hard edge in his eyes.

"You know, you're better when you're like this?"

"What?"

Daniel couldn't help but smile. The colonel was gone again, and it was just Jack slouching next to him, looking like someone just told him that up was down.

"Your skills, such as they are, in psychotherapy. They're much better when you're threatening to kick someone in the ass than when you're trying to be nice."

"Ah, thank you," Jack said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "I'll be sure to polish my boots before heading back into the SGC on Monday. Now, if you could stop evading the issue, so I don't have to drag you out back and rough you up."

Rubbing his eyes, Daniel pulled his hands into his lap and deliberately stared across the kitchen at the fuzzy edges of a cracked tile. "It felt like...No, it _feels_ like I've been making it up for the last six months. My quest, my obsession to find Sha're, has all been a lie, because I don't feel badly enough for what happened today. I mean, it was never like I was worthy of her in the first place, but I think that I should be feeling like something lower than dirt now, and I just don't."

Jack's hand was squeezing his shoulder. "I get that."

"How?" Daniel shouted, brushing off Jack's hand. "When was the last time you had the love of your life kidnapped by aliens?"

"Hello? Focus. We're talking about how you're mad that you don't feel like shit. I get _that_ part. Look, I know you've fired your gun at the enemy. While I'm proud of the fact that I didn't have to talk you into defending yourself, firing from behind a rock is a little distant and vague. First time I went on a special ops assignment, I had to make small talk with a guard and then kill him with my bare hands as part of the mission. Want to know what I felt?"

Daniel could only stare at Jack. A part of him was afraid to know. "If I had actually done it, which is highly doubtful, I think I might have been sick to my stomach, for starters."

"I felt nothing. You want to know why the Air Force puts up with me as much as they do? It's because of that, because most people are normal, _like you_, and their consciences gets in the way of the mission."

"Jack, you are not an unfeeling killing machine." Of this, Daniel was adamantly sure.

"I'm not, and thank you. The guys who really feel nothing all the time, there are very special assignments for them, and no retirement plans, because their handlers are that afraid of them." Jack took a swig of his beer. "What I am or am not isn't what I was trying to get at. People, society, churches, whatever - they all tell us what we're supposed feel when we do something out of line. And overall, that's a good thing, because the world's got enough problems, and I don't want to know what it'd be like without some semblance of order."

"Even if it's guilt induced?"

"Yeah. The fact is that we don't always feel the way they say we're supposed to. Get past it and get to the important part. Do you love her? Do you love her any less right now than you did yesterday or last month? Do ya?"

It wasn't just Sha're's face that came to mind, but her laugh and the smell of her hair, the way her fingers would glide over his skin, the feel of her lips. "I love her more than I ever have."

"That's all you've got to know, Daniel." Jack drained the beer and then set the bottle in front of him, turning it in his hands.

Such an overwhelming feeling of relief washed through Daniel that he didn't even think when he turned to Jack and wrapped him in hug. He just knew that he wanted the comfort of human warmth. Jack hesitated a moment and then Daniel felt arms wrap around him and one of Jack's hands rubbed a comforting warm line up his spine. For the first time all day, everything seemed to be a little more okay. Out on the horizon there was hope, something that Daniel felt he didn't have enough of in his life.

They stayed that way for a while, and what was actually too long in Daniel's estimation of social decorum for two straight guys. It was a protocol that he had memorized a long time ago because as a bisexual man, it was something that he had screwed up in the past, unintentionally burning bridges when the other guy got uncomfortable. He knew he should let go for his own sake, because not everything he felt for Jack was platonic or filial. Their time next to the whirlpool and in the locker room reminded him of that.

But he didn't want to be alone. And apparently, neither did Jack, who shifted in his seat, tightening his embrace. Warm breath trickled over the back of Daniel's neck. Jack's hand? was playing with the hem of Daniel's shirt where it was riding up next to the waistband of his jeans.

One of them should do something to end this, but it wasn't going to be Daniel. He'd put up with enough crap today and had earned this brief respite from loneliness. Hell, breaking it up was Jack's job, since he was the straight military guy in this friendship.

"You know what?" asked Jack.

Thank god, thought Daniel; it was about time that Jack did something. "What?"

"I don't feel guilty about this either."

"Oh." Daniel took some time to evaluate that, what it meant, what Jack wasn't saying out loud, but clearly implying. "Uhm, you're not gay."

"Not in a march in a pride parade kind of way."

This was something that Daniel had never picked up on. "How long?"

"Uh, how long what? If you're asking when I knew, that's complicated."

Daniel slid back, running his hands along Jack's arms. "Complicated?"

"I was born in the 50s, Daniel. At first I didn't know that gay existed, and when I did get a fairly non-flattering explanation, I assumed they weren't talking about me. I guess I got it sometime in high school, but I knew something was going on long before that. Didn't matter though." Jack wasn't looking at him anymore, but his face took on a determined look. "By high school I would have done anything, been anyone, as long as they let me fly."

It was obvious that the events of the day had gotten to both of them because Daniel couldn't imagine any circumstances where Jack would have just come out and said all that to him. There were a million things that he could have said, but instead he asked, "What about Sarah?"

"I've never quite been sure what happened there," The look on his face was the confused one where he tried to figure out what kind of pie he was feeling like in the mess hall. "I was picking up beer on my way to go fishing, and my truck wouldn't start. I saw Sarah watching my inept attempts to figure out what was going on under the hood. Next thing I know she took the cigarette out of my hand, put it in her own mouth and then shoved me out of the way so she could fix my engine." Jack laughed. "Then she told me I was heading to a crappy fishing spot, and if I bought her lunch, she'd show me what real fishing was about. I think I fell in love with her before I realized that she had breasts. Hell, I was pretty damn sure she had balls."

"You prefer balls?" Daniel enunciated each word like he was talking to an imbecile.

"And the other bits that usually go with them." Jack stood up and walked around the counter and then leaned forward on his hands. Daniel wondered which one of them needed the space more. "OK, I don't know why the hell I just told you that. As you might have guessed, as a general rule I don't tell anyone that."

"She with two faces," Daniel said.

"Excuse me?" Jack demanded.

Daniel held up both hands. "No, I'm sorry! I wasn't calling you two faced. One of Hathor's many epithets is _She with two faces_. It's not a derogatory name like it is in our culture. It just means she sees in all directions at once. One of her symbols is a mirror. Today was as if she held up the mirror, only letting us see one side of her and many sides of each other."

"Okay, you're obviously feeling better. Fascinating as that was," Jack said in a tone that left no doubt how not fascinated Jack was. "About this side of myself that I just shared with you -"

"Jack, I'm your friend. Hell, we wouldn't even have to be friends; I wouldn't sell anyone out for a stupid, inconsequential rule." Daniel waited for Jack's nod and went on. "I suppose I wasn't particularly discreet today-"

"Today? Try two years ago or whenever it was that you showed up at the SGC. I caught you checking out the tight-assed marines even before I read in your file that you might be inclined to."

"It's in my-" Daniel checked his momentary outrage. "Of course it's in my file, but I'm a civilian with valuable knowledge, so they look past it."

"They look past a lot of things when it's in their favor," Jack said.

Daniel nodded. "I should go home. We've both been through enough today and..." He couldn't finish. There had already been enough weirdness for one night, and if there was one thing he could count on, it was that when Jack wanted to keep something a secret he would. They'd walk into the SGC in two days, and to anyone else's eyes, Jack, at least, would look exactly the same.

"And we're both horny and don't want to be alone?"

"That's not actually helping."

"Because it's true? Look, it's late and you know where the guest room is; I won't bother you."

Daniel nodded. "That's good, but I just got past one round of marital guilt; I'm not ready for another."

"Hey, I don't want to do anything that's going to make you feel guilty."

Daniel was about to nod, but he studied Jack's face, reviewed his tone of voice. "You're lying."

"Yes, yes, I am." Jack nodded and pushed open the kitchen door.

Daniel just sat there. He could hear the squeak of the steps, meaning Jack had gone upstairs and left the decision making in his hands.

***

Daniel wrapped the dinner plates with plastic wrap and stuck them in the fridge, not that it would matter to Jack, who wouldn't even blink if they sat out all night. He'd just dive into them for breakfast. Daniel had a certain prejudice against food poisoning. Of course that only mattered if he was spending the night. He was stalling and he knew it.

Give in to his desires for human comfort and his desires for Jack specifically, or go home and not betray his wife. Shaking his head, Daniel stepped through the kitchen door. There was no doubt in his mind that it would be betrayal, even though Abydonian custom would say otherwise. If the appropriate forms of discretion and sexual position were upheld, they wouldn't even care that Jack was a man. None of that mattered though, because Daniel knew what it was.

The keys to Jack's truck were sitting in the middle of the coffee table. Non-verbal communications; Jack was a pro. _If you want to go home, take the truck; I'm not going anywhere tomorrow._ Daniel hesitated a moment then left the keys and took the stairs.

The guest room was to the left with neatly folded sheets and blankets on the unmade mattress, along with a new toothbrush and some clothes for sleeping in. This was a better option than going home. They had enough space to recover some semblance of what passed for normalcy between them, but they really wouldn't really be alone.

Unfurling a sheet over the mattress, he tossed his glasses onto the dresser and then changed into a t-shirt and some shorts. On the way to the bathroom, Daniel paused by Jack's open door. Dressed in sweat pants and a gray tee shirt, Jack was sitting with a couple of pillows stuffed behind his back and a magazine in his hands.

"Staying?" Jack looked up.

"Yeah, I think I will. Found the stuff you left me in the other room." Daniel couldn't tell if that sounded defensive. "Not that your other-" He waved a hand, indicating Jack and the bed. "Suggestion wasn't enticing."

"But sweats don't do it for you," Jack said.

Matching Jack's smile, Daniel said, "Not that the attire isn't seductive, but frankly it's the reading material."

With a snap of the pages, Jack checked the cover and sighed. "My grandfather always said that Mad Magazine would be my downfall."

Using the toothbrush, Daniel gestured towards the bathroom. "I'm just gonna..."

Jack nodded. "G'night, Daniel."

"'Night, Jack."

Daniel had made it only a half a step away before he turned back. He should just go and brush his teeth and head off to sleep. Things wouldn't necessarily be back to normal in the morning, but they were bound to feel a whole lot better than they did right now.

"Jack." Apparently he wasn't going to follow his own advice. "Since we apparently can't stop stepping over lines tonight, could I ask you a personal and inappropriate question?"

Jack just sat there, staring at him. Finally he dropped the magazine on the bedside table. "Daniel, despite the fact that I have, in my opinion, been very restrained over the last hour or so, it doesn't mean that I didn't have a crappy day, too." Jack's forehead creased. "Doesn't, didn't - did I throw too many negatives into that sentence? I think you and I know each other well enough to let some bad grammar slip; what I was trying to say-"

"Is that you had bad day too," Daniel finished and in the process of doing so found himself halfway across the room. "Look, we'd have probably been better off maintaining that very guy method of communications - a combination of denial and not talking. But since we've gone this far-"

"Daniel, there's an old saying where I come from."

Spreading his hands, Daniel asked, "Which is?"

"Shit or get off the pot." They had been looking each other in the eye and then Jack's moved down the length of Daniel's body, stopping where Daniel's legs met the bed. Daniel hadn't realized that he'd even moved. In fact, he had come a long way from putting away dishes in the kitchen to get here.

"Do I get to ask my question?"

"Is it going to screw up your next move? Because by my calculation it'll have to involve getting into bed with me, and really Daniel, that's in keeping with what I wanted to happen." Planting his hands on the bed, Jack scooted over to the other side of the bed.

"You're making this too easy, Jack."

"Quit lying to me," Jack said. "You want me to make the move, take the responsibility out of your hands. As much as I want to, Daniel, not going to happen. If you're going to hate me in the morning, I want it very clear that not all the blame rests on me."

Nodding, Daniel sat on the bed and shoved a pillow behind his back. "Did you ever cheat on Sarah?"

"You know, the attraction is starting to fade." Jack slid down, lying on his back and looking up at the ceiling. "I was still on active duty when I met Sarah. No big deal at first, I'd dated plenty of women because it looked good to the Air Force or they were just good company. So what few extra-curricular activities there were in my life just kept going."

"Jack, I meant-"

With a hand slicing through the air, Jack cut him off. "I know what you meant, just taking my time getting there. After we got engaged, I stopped hooking up with anonymous, one-night stands." He pushed his hand through his hair. "Sometimes even after we were married, after a high adrenaline mission, there was some fumbling around with a discreet teammate. It amounted to opening enough clothing for a hand job." Jack's laugh was bitter. "Which was something the straight guys could twist into something that wasn't gay sex."

It was off the track, but Daniel needed to ask, "Did that actually work for them? Pretending it wasn't what it was?"

Jack shrugged. "I was the gay guy who wanted a whole lot more; it seemed to work for them. Now let me answer the real question you wanted to ask but haven't gotten around to yet."

"Jack, I'm sorry. I should have never asked -"

"I never felt guilty. Some of those guys were good buddies, but I never made the mistake of thinking we were going to develop feelings for each other. Physically I cheated on her, but never in the ways that counted."

Nodding, Daniel looked away. "Kinda what happened to me today. The physical parts with Hathor and even the drugged parts where I couldn't remember Sha're, they're fading into bad memories."

Jack gave Daniel's upper arm a light squeeze. "If I were still married to Sarah, earlier today I would have cheated on her in a way that counted. Is this the part where you're having trouble, because even though we haven't laid a hand on each other, I don't think I was alone when it happened."

The day raced through Daniel's head again. Not being able to help himself, he let out a laugh. "You nailed it on the head. The sin was already committed and the guilt is firmly in place."

"All the guilt and none of the benefits. You can change that last part, by the way. I wouldn't want to deny you the whole package or anything," Jack said, pretending to be gracious.

"You are such a fucking bastard, but I suppose I shouldn't complain because I happen to like that part of you, for no apparent reason." The one thing Daniel became very certain of was that he didn't want to be alone. Rolling onto his side, he slid his arm over Jack's body until his chest was touching Jack's side and his hand was gripping Jack's far hip. "I'm not saying that somewhere down the road, this wouldn't have happened, but Jack..."

Jack's fingers were trailing soft lines down the side of Daniel's cheek. "What, Daniel?"

"Are you ready to live with the knowledge that everything that started between us was because of Hathor?"

With a half-shrug, Jack gently slid his fingers behind Daniel's neck and pulled him down into a kiss. Daniel felt the restraint of the evening evaporate as their mouths moved against each other. As Jack gently bit his lower lip, Daniel moaned into his mouth as his own tongue found entrance. Jack's hand was already under Daniel's shirt, tracing a hot, unpredictable trail along his belly and chest.

Jack tried to buck into the hand that Daniel slid past his waistband, but since Daniel was now half on top of him, Jack wasn't able to move. Knowing Jack like he did, Daniel wasn't expecting to remain on top for long, so he took full advantage of their positions, teasing Jack by drawing hieroglyphs in the hollow of his hip, Daniel's knuckles barely grazing Jack's already hard cock.

Pulling his head back and dragging in a ragged breath, Jack smiled. "You know, not that it's any better, but the first time I wanted to go down on my knees for you was when you rose from the dead back on Abydos. I've been blaming Ra all this time."

Daniel dropped his forehead to Jack's chest as he laughed. "OK, point taken. Now tell me more about the part where you wanted my dick in your mouth."

"That what you want? I've been wanting to for a long time."

With a shake of his head to move the hair out of his eyes, Daniel said, "Yeah, want that, but maybe later." Biting his lip, he tried to read the look in Jack's eyes, and it made him groan and buck into Jack's side. He stopped wondering why he hadn't been flipped onto his back. "Gotta question, Jack."

Jack's arm flung out and slammed into the mattress as he rolled his eyes.

Taking Jack's face in both his hands, Daniel nipped at his mouth. "How do you want me to fuck you, Jack? Should we pull off these clothes and stay just like this, so I can look into your eyes when I make you come? Like that, or do you want to be on your hands and knees so I ride you hard?"

Jack's eye's glazed as he tried to lift his head and kiss Daniel.

"Jack, you're just one surprise after another tonight." Leaning down, Daniel lavished kisses along Jack's neck and sucked on his earlobe. "You're not answering. You trying to tell me that you've never been fucked?"

"No, no. Been there, done that, but not nearly often enough. Not exactly recently either, if you're catching what I'm - Christ, Daniel, why the hell are we still dressed?"

As if it was the final permission he needed, Daniel sat up, pulling off his shirt as he went. Jack needed no further encouragement to pull off his own shirt and start shucking his pants.

"Jack, where do you keep your stuff, or am I going to have to go on a quest for hand lotion or something?" Daniel's pants were off and he was stroking himself, watching Jack watch him.

"Hey, I was a Boy Scout," Jack said, rolling over on to his belly and reaching for the side table drawer. "Lied to them about my sexual inclinations, too. Although they were only going to stop me from camping and learning to tie knots."

Daniel couldn't help but smile as Jack dug around in the drawer and flailed with his legs, trying to kick off his sweats that were hung up around one ankle. He was starfished across the bed and completely unaware of how Daniel was drinking in the play of muscles across Jack's back and his narrow waist. Jack would never look like the body builder that Teal'c was, but it didn't mean that he wasn't lean and hard, muscle and bone.

"Just keep looking, I'm going to take care of a few things," Daniel said, grabbing Jack's leg and tossing the clothing to the floor. Sliding his hands over Jack's calves, Daniel dug his thumbs in slightly just above the knees. If he was feeling patient, he'd have given Jack a proper massage, but instead he settled for Jack's appreciative moans as Daniel squeezed the thigh muscles as he pushed Jack's legs apart.

"Lift up for me a minute." Daniel tugged on Jack's hips for emphasis. When the other man obliged and pushed up onto his knees, Daniel slid a couple of pillows underneath him, as he ran one hand up and down Jack's back.

Jack had tossed back a strip of condoms and a tube of something. It could have been toothpaste for all that Daniel cared. With a brief kiss to the tender flesh on Jack's thigh, Daniel bit down and sucked hard. He had no idea if they'd ever find themselves like this again, and Daniel planned on owning every moment of it.

There was a shuffling as Jack reached for what Daniel assumed was a pillow and then settled in, spreading his legs more. Fighting the urge to just take him then and there, Daniel nipped and licked his way up Jack's thigh. Jack bucked when Daniel stroked his balls and nipped and sucked on the tender strip of flesh behind his balls.

"This where you want me, Jack? I could this for hours." The last part was a bold face lie, but he didn't think Jack would be taking him up on the offer. Jack mumbled or moaned something inarticulate, not that Daniel cared to translate. With his hands, he spread Jack's ass open and tongued his hole. The way Jack jumped made him pause, but only for a moment. Throwing his body onto one of Jack's legs, he pressed his weight into an arm he laid across Jack's waist.

"Daniel!"

"Shh, I got you, just relax." Lowering his head again, Daniel licked and worked his tongue into Jack.

"Please, Daniel, I, just...oh god, please."

With one fumbling hand, he found the tube that Jack had tossed onto the bed. He managed to pop the lid before he shifted so he was kneeling behind Jack. It wasn't exactly elegant the way he squeezed too much out and had to get his fingers down to the spot where they were going to do the most good.

Leaning down, he kissed the small of Jack's back. "Need you to breathe."

"Am, I am."

"Jack, you need to let the air out at some point for it to be really breathing."

"I-" Jack cut himself off, took a deep breath and sighed it out. Daniel thought about coming right there and then, but remembered his plan at the last moment and slowly pushed a finger into Jack.

"Nice," Daniel said. "Can you keep doing that for me? Want to make this good for you, so good." Jack responded by taking anther breath and relaxing as he exhaled. Daniel moved the finger in and out with the breathing, soon bringing a second finger in to help work Jack open.

This went on for a few moments, the deep sounds of breath and then Jack started to talk between breaths. "So good. Want you now. Need more. Give me your dick. Daniel, fuck me ..." On and on until Daniel's heart was racing and his cock was leaking against his thigh.

Not quite caring if Jack was really ready, he pulled his fingers out to the sound of Jack's groans, and rolled on a condom, slicking it with half the tube. Before he could panic over how long it had been since he'd done this, Daniel positioned himself and as Jack exhaled for him, he pushed. Jack froze and so did Daniel, not backing off, but waiting. Using one hand, he stroked Jack's back, willing the tension out of him.

Deep breath in and then Jack sighed, "Daniel..." The head of Daniel's cock slid past the ring of muscles and slowly he pushed forward until he was halfway in.

"You OK, Jack?"

Jack didn't say anything but gave a thumbs up over his shoulder before letting out another breath. Daniel didn't stop until his balls were up against Jack's ass. Leaning down, he touched his chest to Jack's back, letting his hands roam over the other man's abs before taking hold of his cock.

"Don't! I mean yes, good, but no, not yet. I'll-"

Daniel was laughing as he slid his hand down and gave Jack a firm squeeze at the base.

"Hello? Not sure what's so amusing."

"It's good." Daniel took a breath of his own, feeling the heat of Jack's body pressing into him from all angles. "It's all good. You're just lucky that I speak Jack."

With a grunt, Jack squeezed Daniel's cock.

"Fuck!"

"Just in case that wasn't clear, allow _me_ to translate. I was asking if you were planning on moving that thing anytime soon."

Without any further ceremony, Daniel pulled about halfway out and slammed back in. His second stroke was easy but longer, as he pulled nearly all the way out, before coming back in. He'd reduced Jack to sounds again, but because they sounded like happy noises, Daniel closed his eyes and went on, building a slow easy rhythm, changing his angle until Jack gasped in pleasure, grabbing handfuls of blankets.

Daniel was losing it, moving faster and faster, hitting the right spot in Jack often enough that the other man was pleading and calling Daniel's name. With one hand, he reached for Jack's cock. It only took a few strokes before Jack gasped and froze, locking all his muscles squeezing tight around Daniel's cock.

Daniel reluctantly paused, gently stroking Jack's cock until the other man had rode out his orgasm.

"Daniel?"

"I'm here. Would it be OK, if I, you know-" Daniel gave up on words and kissed the middle of Jack's back before taking another stroke.

"Go, come on, Daniel. Give it to me, want to take it all." Jack didn't stop talking and Daniel vowed he'd never admit how much it turned him on. He changed his angle again, this time wanting to go deep and hard. In a few moments, he went momentarily blind as he was overcome by his own orgasm.

Daniel pulled out, barely remembering to take care of the condom, dropping it into what he hoped was a wastebasket and not a shoe.

Jack was pushing him down, kissing him all the way until they were lying on the tangle of sheets and blankets. Despite the fact that they were a hot and sticky mess, Jack was pressed up against Daniel, laying gentle kisses on his mouth and throat. Daniel didn't want to move.

Opening his eyes, Daniel found himself looking into Jack's. There was something there, something that he was afraid to label, because he'd only seen it in Sha're's eyes before. "Jack, no. Don't, don't, please."

"Shhh, Daniel, I know. I'm always going to be your friend. Monday, when Teal'c and Sam ask what we did, I'm gonna bitch about you passing out in the middle of the _Simpsons_ after half-a-beer. Still your friend when I call you an idiot for not ducking when we're being shot at." Jack snuggled closer. "I'm going to be your friend the day we find your wife and you forget I exist."

"Jack, I wouldn't-" Jack stopped Daniel's protest by placing his fingers over Daniel's mouth.

"Hey, do you love her any less?" Jack asked.

Daniel actually thought about Sha're a moment, her smile and her laugh. Of course he didn't love her any less. He was surprised that he didn't feel guilty about what had just happened. Jack would always be his friend and in that moment, Daniel felt more confident than he had in a while that they were going to find her.

Daniel slowly shook his head. He loved her more than ever.

"Then when we find her, you forget about me." The look in Jack's eyes was distant for a moment and then he smiled. "I'll still be your friend and I won't be going anywhere unless you need me to. Before you know it, that beautiful wife of yours will be complaining about Uncle Jack spinning your kids too fast when he's playing airplane with them."

Daniel kissed the fingers Jack had against his lips. "Always your friend, Jack."

Jack nodded. "Shower and some sleep?"

"Only if you promise to spin me too fast when we wake up," Daniel said, wiggling his eyebrows.

In Daniel's opinion, the Goa'uld would kill to possess the secret of the evil grin that Jack gave him.

~end~

**Author's Note:**

> Written for in the JD_Ficathon. Sorry I couldn't make the optional request work out without turning it into non-con.
> 
> Two (2) Requirements: S1.13: "Hathor" and NC-17
> 
> Optional Request: First-Prime!Jack and Gould-Lord!Daniel maybe with Voyeur!Hathor
> 
> Restrictions: non-con/dubious consent and hetMy many thanks to Wesleysgirl for the beta and advice. When I asked her thoughts on titles, she did some additional Hathor research for me. Among her symbols are mirrors and one of her epithets is "Two-Faces". I think this imagery fits the fic - it is as if Hathor held up a mirror for everyone and forced them see another face.


End file.
